Today, something I am terrible at (but getting better) is self-care. I have definitely realized as I get older and busier and as business is growing, that self care is vitally important. ‘Vital’ is the word I really want to use there, as self-care really is vitally important for success… for personal success and business success, you have to take care of yourself.
An Overused (but Relevant) Analogy
Possibly like you, I have been guilty of trying to put everything, everyone and everybody in front of what I need, thinking that’s the right thing to do. In the end, it’s really not. And I think that’s where the balance comes in, if there is such a thing as balance. It’s learning how to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. And although the analogy of putting your own oxygen mask on first is way overused, it still is super relevant. I guess it makes sense that the airlines have figured that out before anyone else.
Showing Up as your Best Self
You really need to show up on any field of play that you’re in, whether it’s at home with your kids, or at their games – whether it’s in your office, at the store – it doesn’t matter where you are! If you want to show up and be your best self (and why wouldn’t you), you need to work on being your best self and that requires taking care of yourself.
When it’s Hard to Start a Self Care Practice
I have been so incredibly bad at self-care my whole life, but I’ve been really good at other things. Other things such as building businesses, creating systems, becoming as profitable as possible, and helping others grow and succeed. I honestly felt like there was just no time for self-care. And I actually felt a little guilty about indulging in anything for myself, which apparently is more common than not. So here’s what I did. I leveraged an existing behavior that I have because creating a brand new habit for me to master – just doesn’t work for me.
One thing I’m known for and I actually would attribute it to a lot of the success that I’ve had is I have a daily planner [LINK] and a to do list that I use every single day and that I live by. I have this addiction to checking those boxes off of everything that I get done. I’ve kind of gamified it over the 20 plus years that I’ve used this method so I just, as they say, ‘get shit done.’
And I think a lot of people are like that. My husband is also somebody that gets a lot of stuff done and learned about my to-do lists and started using them himself when we met years ago. He just recently said to me (and it’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received), “Woman. You get more done by 8am than anyone else gets done in an entire day.” Which is obviously a stretch, but he just knows how relentless I am about getting stuff done. I love to be constantly moving the ball forward, and because I live off my checklist, I had my amazing VA (Virtual Assistant) create this daily planner [LINK].
How I Use Our Daily Planner
Along with the daily schedule of meetings, I also have a place to write down my food and water intake just because I like to track how much water I’m drinking (God knows I need to drink more) and of course I also track food for dietary reasons. And then I have a whole section for fitness and self care. And here’s the thing – it’s on my to do list. My brain just wants to get it done – that’s just how I’ve kind of molded my brain as I’ve gotten older. If it’s on my list, I’m gonna get it done.
Why I PLAN my Self-Care
I started using this new planner only a few weeks ago. But about a year ago I did start to incorporate a little self-care on most days, whether it’s a 5 or 10 minute meditation or going to the gym. Checking the box just feels good to me even if it’s getting a manicure or it’s just spending 15 minutes reading. I write it down. It makes me do something for myself, that forces me to have that “Kasey timeout”. It also actually helps me plan what I’m going to do so it’s not just the same thing every day.
Self care can and should be a little bit more creative than just ‘meditate for 5 minutes’. It should be more playful, like getting a facial or a massage on Saturday with a friend, or something else that fuels you.
Here are some more ideas:
- Paint
- Go for a run
- Journal (One of my favorites!)
- Read a fiction (another fav)
- Plant a garden, or a little herb garden in your kitchen
- Take a nap (LUXURY)
- Take a bath (My Number One!!)
- Get a nice haircut (This is always nice)
- Get a facial (LOVE this)
- Get a massage (another fav)
- Get a psychic reading (not for me but can be fun)
- Get a chiropractic adjustment (again, not for me but can be done)
- Buy yourself a green juice (YUM)
- Try a guided meditation – just type in the ‘kind’ ie. anxiety/grief/sleep/healing/calming/boredom etc. depending on what you feel when you’re alone. You’ll find plenty of options. (LOVE These!)
- Cook a luxurious meal for yourself (So fun and delicious!)
- Do yoga (this is our favorite online platform)
- Learn something new (we LOVE Skillshare)
- Take care of your pet (feed birds/groom/bathe/brush or just give them some love)
- Browse a bookstore (the best)
- Browse accessories you like (treat yourself – you’re worth it!)
- Play a board game (I can go either way on these – I can be a little over competitive)
Without actually planning these things I just let that stuff go by being ‘too busy.’ Kids need this, grocery shopping, I gotta cook, I gotta do laundry,’ all of those things tend to weigh on us as most important and most urgent. They ARE important, but honestly, a lot of them aren’t urgent. Planning REALLY helps with self-care.
Self-Care ADDS to Your Success
Even amidst taking more time to myself than ever before, we’ve had the biggest growth we’ve ever had at Spark. I personally feel so much more confident, connected and happy, and just thrilled and grateful in the way that business is going. We have the same central players on our staff that we’ve had for years, who have also been growing. They love what they do and they rally around our mission here, which I think really shows to our clients. In fact, the biggest place we get referrals is from our current clients, more than any other place, which is just heart-warming to all of us. It’s just this wonderful kind of snowball effect. But it all starts with you. So, if you need something to leverage your self-care and your life in general, download the planner. And more than anything. just remember to take care of yourself. First.